1: Roy Carroll (Manchester United)
2: Darren Purse (West Brom)
3: Titus Bramble (Newcastle United)
4: David Prutton (Southampton)
5: Rio Ferdinand (Manchester United)
6: Robbie Savage (Blackburn Rovers/Birmingham City)
7: Barry Ferguson (Glasgow Rangers/Blackburn Rovers)
8: Lee Bowyer (Newcastle United)
9: El Hadji Diouf (Bolton/Liverpool)
10: Harry Kewell (Liverpool)
11: Craig Bellamy (Celtic/Newcastle United)
Manager:
Alex Ferguson (Manchester United)
Chairman:
Rupert Lowe (Southampton)
Roy Carroll: enough would be to let in silly goals against……., but to then be a total Diouf by throwing the ball intae his ane net fae Pedro Mendes lob effort fae the half way line, is totally unbelievable, an’ then tae hook the baw oot, an’ then lie there fur a split second, cause he kens it wis in, then come oot an’ play oan is whit the Diouf team is aw’ aboot. A total disgrace, an’ the only choice for the number one shirt. A mean feat considering he was up against Tim Howard, Jens Lehmann and all the Liverpool goalies!
Darren Purse: if it’s not bad enough, that Darren Purse is totally pish, he managed to throw an elbow defending a corner for West Brom earlier in the season, at what he thought, was an opposing player. Deliberate elbow intae the face of Ricardo Scimeca, his team mate. Breaking Scimeca’s nose, and earning himself a red card for violent conduct efter the FA review of the game, Purse got himsel’ a three match ban. What a Diouf!
Titus Bramble, (aka Titless Bunglo): no matter what Mini Neebs says, how this guy makes a livin’ oot o’ playing fitba’ I’ll never know, because he is crap and it’s a disgrace that a 5 year deal could go to this player. He’s big, strong and also shit. I watched him in a three/four game streak aroond the January time o’ the season at Hillside, and we all sat there shocked at this guy playing. A real bad player. A total Diouf!!!
David Prutton: what a Diouf!!! Against Arsenal, (a total bunch of Diouf’s themselves), Prutton makes a ridiculous tackle on Flamini to get himself booked, (should have been sent off). Then launches himsel’ intae anither tackle worthy of a red card itself, on Pires (another total diving Diouf). The linesman flags for a foul, Prutton then sees fit to remonstrate wi’ the linesman, (he must think that his tackle was okay!!!), the ref shows him second yellow, then Prutton resorts to total Douifdom and loses the plot completely!!!! 10 MATCH BAN!!! Need I say more? Prutton, you are a total Diouf!!!
Rio Ferdinand: who the f*ck does he think he is???? This little pr*ck gets done fur 9 months for being a drug cheat. Man U pay Ferdinand, in full, for the duration of his ban. This kid is on £70,000 a week!!!! Plays for a few months, gets his team to 3rd in the league for the second year running, (which is pish if you are Man U), then decides that he isnae goin’ tae sign a new contract until they match his ridiculous asking price o’ £100,000 a week!!!!! Manchester United paid 28 million pounds for this little sh*t!!! What kind of money did he make fae that signing on fee? And the £80,000 a week pay hike that Man U are offering isn’t enough!!!! Ferdinand represents aw’hing that is wrong with the modern day fitbaw’er. He’s a guid player, but he is greedy and a cheat and disnae care about sh*t but himsel’!!! An incredible signing for the Douif 11. I micht even make this guy captain for being an excellent example of being a total Diouf!!!!!
Robbie Savage: what is wrong with this guy???!!! He has committed all sorts o’ Douiferry over the past 5-6 years! A terrible tackler, a moaning little sh*t, an ugly little bast*rd. This season he takes the biscuit though, by being a total Diouf and engineering himself to Blackburn! He says it’s fur family reasons. He’s lying. Savages problem is that he thinks every one else is stupit, ( a bit like Bellamy. Another Welsh twat!). Savage lies publicly on television aw’ the time. Then he turns intae a total crybaby when Toshack decides he doesn’t want any lying thugs in his Wales team!!! To cap it aw’ aff, Savage then disnae play for Blackburn against Birmingham, even though fully fit, as a gentlemans agreement a’tween the twa clubs! Gentlemen??? Savage??? Wurk that wan oot! This guy disnae ken when he is well aff! A real nasty piece o’ work this one, and a welcome addition to the Douif 11. I feel like being sick right now. Total Diouf!!!
Barry Ferguson: why is the captain o’ Scotland such an embarrassment to his country (and a total Diouf)? Why cannae the captain of Scotland no take his opportunities and go play for a huge club? Why does the captain o’ Scotland come cryin’ back to the dirty huns because he’s afraid that Blackburn micht go doon this season? This guy has a responsibility tae his country tae go and be the best he possibly can. He Winnie! He is a small minded wee pr*ck He has zero balls! A quitter and a loser! Medals mean sh*te if ye cannae put in an honest days graft. Ferguson opitimises the easy way oot. He likes tae get drunk with his ned pals in Glasgow. He tells us it’s fur family reasons and engineers a move back to Rangers. He’s a liar, a quitter and a total Diouf, and sadly, the captain of Scotland! I am very sad at this.
Lee Bowyer: what a disgrace! For years this guys has been a disgrace. He gets awa’ wi’beating up Hamilton Accies for a living. Hoo does someone so guilty get offered a job at Newcastle? A repeat offender, he got his position cemented this season for his diouf attack on his ‘not white’ team mate, Keiron Dyer, ( a outside contender for the Diouf 11 for being associated with the disgrace this season that is NUFC). Lee Bowyer is a racist and a bigot and disnae ken when he’s well aff. If he gave as much of a sh*t about winnin’ games of fitba’ for Newcastle, as he does about kickin’ in folk who irnae‘white’, maybe he’d begin to justify why Newcastle pay him £50,000. He’s in wi’ the big boys noo though in the Diouf’s 11. Bramble and Ferdinand are too big for Bowyer to pick on, and El Hadji Diouf is the f*cking daddy!!!
El Hadji Diouf: where do we begin? Just yesterday it was revealed that this ‘disgrace’ is using legal aid to pay for his court case against the Celtic fan he spat whilst playing for Liverpool. Unbelieveable! What about his tackle the other week on whatshisface? The gob on DeZeeuw was a total ‘Diouf’ classic moment. He wear his cap sideways, and walks about with handgun motifs on his t-shirts. The story of his keepie-ups in the pub to get attention is the stuff that this team needs!!! The dive against Blackburn to get the penalty was extraordinary. He gets up, sticks it away, then Allardyce has to sub him. The complete cheat! A real nasty piece of work! If he’s not cheating you, he’s spitting in your face. This guy has nae shame whatsoever. A total disgrace tae fitba’. The epitome of bad taste. He makes the rest look like quireboys. That’s why he is the captain, that is why he is the most despicable member of the squad, that is why he is called ‘Diouf’!!!!!
Harry Kewell: I needed tae wait until the last game o’ the season wis played afore making my final team selections. In last nights game, there were still a few serious contenders fur the Diouf’s 11. Gerrard, Kewell and Dudek. Gerrard scores, Dudek saves two penalties. Kewell disnae last 15 minutes and requests to be taken aff because he disnae fancy it. This work shy little f*ck has been foond oot noo. A disgrace to his profession. Earlier this season efter playin’ pish, he decided to fane injury. His manager didn’t know if he was lying or not. This means, that since Kewell married that little bint off Emerdale, he’s turned into a total Diouf! He disgraced the profession with his limping about in the Carling Cup Final, then last night in the Champions League, then he gets infront of the TV every chance he gets in the after match celebrations!!! He’s done f*ck all!!! F*ck all ALL season and every season he’s been at Liverpool!!!! What happened to him. Never has a player lost form like this ever! Not at this level, and not at his wages! No guts, no courage, no will. He should do the honourable thing and kill himself after last night. I can’t bear to look at him, but he’s one of the top 11 Dioufs, so he’s in the team! Diouf!
Craig Bellamy the thought of Bellamy’s ugly wee munchkin pus, makes me want tae puke up on it!! A fantastic wide man fur the Diouf’s 11. Bellamy makes team selection easy! The text messages tae Shearer sayin’ he’s better than him whilst drunk, the falling oot wi’ Souness and claiming that he is a better player than Souness ever was (Bellamy seriously need to have his heid looked at), asking his fellow professional fae lower league tae come tae his hoose tae cut his grass an’ he’ll pay them, playin’ fur Celtic, scoring fur Celtic, and kissing the Celtic badge! The list goes on. Naeb’dy likes Bellamy. Did his Maw ever like this little sh*te? Bellamy makes ye wonder why he couldn’t have got the umbilical cord wrapped around his heid at birth and throttled himsel’. A proper little freak and a total Diouf!!!
There you have it boys!!! The Diouf’s 11 for this season.
A big thank you to El Hadji Diouf without whom this could never have been possible!
Hendo
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